17 Communication and emotions

The experiences negative experiences are part of our life, let's say that the feelings, the negative emotions are part also of our life y are part of our experience

The problem is when these emotions, these feelings, are not experienced in their totality and begin to accumulate as toxicity emotional, in our physiology

Frequently, people emerge in our life and situations that trigger these negative emotions, but really if we open up a little bit, we can find in each one of these people that activate those little buttons, that can be of anger, of grief, of loss, of fear, of fear of rejection, of not being accepted

We can use these situations to heal these emotions, we can begin to see them instead of as problems in our life

or situations unpleasant, such as opportunities to learn about ourselves, because often in those things

Yes, that we see in other people, that they bother us so much, are also part of us and we somehow refuse to accept it

So, it's

It's a process, in which, little by little, we are learning to take each one of these situations, as a opportunity to learn, because no matter how difficult, no matter how hard it is

a situation, always, there is always an apprenticeship, we can always get something positive, then more like, is how we approach, it's our approach, our way of looking at it

And a practical way to do it, is to ask ourselves precisely what can I learn from this situation, what I can learn from this situation, what it can bring to me as a person in my personal growth; maybe it's something that I have to learn and that's why it recurs frequently in my life, and until we don't learn it, it keeps on bothering us, when we learn it, when we create that space inside of us, well, let's stop

now stop

bothering us, stop bothering us about that person, that situation or that that feeling, because we learn to to manage it, and to also create the space to heal, to metabolize and to let go of that kind of situations in our life

There is a very interesting work, that offers us through four questions and the first one is to ask ourselves, what happened, I mean, let's say in a situation of conflict, what happened in this situation, what has happened, and try to be objective, try to bring the tension to the present moment

and avoid judge or add situations from the past

Then ask us, what am I needing maybe from this person or from myself or from this situation that I do not I am receiving

Identify maybe it can be tension, maybe it can be your respect, maybe it can be your affection

clearly identify your feeling, what is it that at that moment or in that situation, you're needing that you're not getting, and then, once we've determined, what it is that we need, and that we are not receiving, well, articulate it in a positive way, to communicate it to the other person

The clearer we are in what we need to receive, in what we are asking for, the closer we will be to get it

It is important, to make the commitment to oneself by following these four steps, start to accept a little bit the situation as it is, determine what feelings it generates in you, maybe anger, rage, disappointment

And once you've determined those feelings or those those emotions, that it arouses in you, to ask you what it is that I am not really receiving, in this situation and what I am needing

And when we have it clear, then ask for it, articulate clearly, what we need, to strengthen conscious communication, to improve our relationships, mainly the relationship with ourselves, but also, the relationship with our loved ones, with the people close to us, in our life, and with all people in general, little by little we are going to maintain, to undertake to carry out this exercise, which consists of four steps which are: identify the situation, identify what it provokes us, what emotions it provokes in us, what feelings we have in response, what is it that we are needing, that we are not receiving, and how we can communicate it effectively, in order to achieve what we wish, and therefore increase our chances of achieving what we want to achieve and improve relationships